Johnny Cochran I need you....

Again from the archives...


The Jury has been in the deliberation room for hours. I can hardly stand the pressure... Could someone get me some crayons, a wheelchair, some pajamas? The trial relentlessly playing itself over and over in my otherwise barren head. And it goes something like this..

Kelli, is it true or not true that you put the flip flop's (that's what kind of shoes they were, make a mental note.) on your daughter Gettie's feet at approximately ten A.M Tuesday morning.

"yes it is true"

And is it also true that she cried immediately afterward followed by bouts of sporatic crying throughout the day.

"But only because I decided for once and for all that she absolutely HAD to learn to wear her shoes!"

So you never once over the course of the day removed her shoes?

"no sir"

Is it also true that you threatened to put her into time out if she proceeded to remove her own shoes?
Objection.... Overruled.

"UM... I plead the fifth."

So Kelli did you or did you not, at the end of the day look down, only to realize that her flip flops with elastic holding them around her ankles, toe seperaters spreading all the way across the shoe to the other side, were on the WRONG FEET???
Wait for it...

The Jury is out.... I AM A LOSER!!!